Feelings

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A couple weeks ago I spent much of a Saturday driving from Minnesota toward my childhood home in Indiana.  It is a drive I have made countless times over the 26 years since I moved “up north.”  I’ve driven it in every season, alone or with family, under all types of circumstances.  In all those trips for whatever reason I was driving, there was a constant.  My parents would be at the other end, and they would be happy to see me whether I was visiting for a week or just stopping by on my way through.

This trip was different though, because I was driving to my mother’s house, but my mother wasn’t there.  She went home to Jesus about six weeks ago.  Every time I thought about it, I felt like sobbing.  When I thought of my father trying to go on without his wife of almost 70 years, my heart broke. It hurts!

Then I would think about my mom and where she is now: in heaven with the Lord she served so long and so well, and with the many family members and friends who preceded her in death.  Her body is no longer broken and all her happy memories are restored.  I am SO HAPPY for my mom!  Soon I am smiling through my tears, and the tears dry up as I picture the reunions one by one: her parents, her sister, her grandson, the baby she lost, her friends…

This is how it works.  As long as I focus on the loss, on the hard things, I am sad, even desperate.  But as I reflect on the truth that my mom lived 90+ years and was more than ready to go home, I wouldn’t bring her back if I could.  Instead I look forward to the day I see her again.  This is a reminder to me to focus on the bigger truth, to look at the good in every situation, and not to dwell on whatever pain is affecting me.  There is good and beauty all around, if I take the time to look for it.  God is indeed good!

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